Beauty of The Moment

It's been eleven years since I picked up pencil, pastels, brushes and got to "work" again. When I rendered a black Chevrolet Caprice, rolling down the highway, I didn't know the way my "third eye" would be opened at the moment. It was a painting done to celebrate my father's 75th birthday and to remind him to dream. It reminded me to dream "alive," to be awakened to the creativity that lives in me.

There's a funny thing that happens when you aren't responsive to such strong energy: it turns on you, twists in your gut and in your mind. Not allowing that creative energy to flow bottles up your own energy and manifests all sorts of "dis-ease…"

But the summer fo 2009, I let it free and it set me free! That summer, I woke early, spent time either drawing, painting or planning to do so. I must have produced at least 10 noteworthy pieces in a two month period. I was always riding on the wings of the clouds, floating over oceans and enjoying every minute of my days.

By nature, I am melancholy; it's easy to see the shadows and clouds, maybe even expect to see them when they aren't there. So mid ways through summer, when that "sense" came on me and told me that my flight would not be long, I responded "I know; just give me a minute to enjoy the sense of beauty." And it lasted a little while longer. In those minutes, I could see colors as I have never been able to see them, to imagine and render "
birds of a feather," see "through the eye of the beholder" and take heart in "the birth of…" just a few of the concepts and sensations that ran through me, for just a minute.

Eleven years ago, it was as if I left earth for a brief moment, to sit at the feet of God, to see beauty as only could be seen from the throne of God. Certainly, over the years, between testing software, preaching and teaching and shoveling snow and the many other tasks that can occupy my days, I enjoyed my minutes. But over time, I not only crashed back to earth, half expecting at some point, the only thing I would have to look forward, is retirement. But as the moments so many years ago come to mind, I am certain, even in this moment of writing, my wings flutter and spread, if only for a second.

Sit with Me Awhile

I'm up at a time I would normally be deep asleep. It's time for work! But I've been at it for at least 15 hours already. I just watched my computer take 30 minutes or more load programs; like watching paint dry or the hairs grey in my beard.

In a few minutes, I'll shut down this machine for the night. I walked passed the studio where the other work occurs…tsk, tsk, tsk! A lot of pretending and 'imagining' occurs in my head and lately, doesn't come to bear on paper and canvas. I got lots of excuses, but this is not the place to air them.

So sit with me for awhile
Bear with me as we consider how to reverse the earth's orbit
Let's churn the waters of the Atlantic
Cool off the equatorial islands
And give the blue whale flight

Take a load off
Come and sit
As I watch the mysteries of colors form
Of love grow old
And children's limbs extend beyond 2T sizes

We're in this together
In this sojourn
This long legged journey
And we aint going nowhere
Until we are gone somewhere

Sit with a brother
Who has seen mourned and laughed at a lot
Let's talk about what who did to when
And spin a tale about stuff we nothing about

Life is a funny twist of hair, of mysteries and moments when an epiphany brushes across the tops of our head and fades just as fast!

They'll Write Songs about You

Words are always enough and sometimes, they come with images. We think we know what should be said, but at least for me, what's formed in my head is only a sketch of what comes out on paper. The words, the images, they are more than me. The idea of rendering, at times with words that ascribe divinity or the diviner's touch, it was not mine originally. I wanted to read only, could read for hours at a time. I could disappear into a book, be in the voice of first or third person and stay there. I could live in the action and heroism of comics, the strength of character sketched in a hero or heroine's sense of honor and integrity. And yet, I always felt like I had more of an active role…

It has struck me, more than a few times, that words convey so much more than we pretend they do. They trace like a road carved into and out of stone, as if someone used a sharp plough and cut through all the lies we think would cover up the truth. As if putting dirt on people's character and identity, covering history with fantasy would change generations forever. Isn't it funny that stories we hold up as 'ideal,' also condemn the writers thereof? Isn't it strange that many have questioned to the extent they would rather die a "fool's death" than live as a coward in this world? But what is stranger is truth doesn't never goes down easily. That the tomorrow we promised and prophesied, lives in the very blood in our veins.

Beauty is found '
here,' she shines whether you accept her or not. She doesn't await approval or acclaim; she simply shines in her own glory. And when it is all said and done, she will declare herself, supreme.

The One Thing You Want

I confiscated my son's room and made it my "work-from-home," office. It's less congested than my actual office/studio, now workout room since COVID-19, hit. I have a bed and a television in the space and a 5 gallon aquarium. My job has nearly daily zoom calls and while I don't see the microphone indicator flashing green (indicating it's picking up sound) I made sure the aquarium was filled with water, to avoid picking up the gurgling of the filter. But it is soothing to have this aquarium in front of me. I put in a few small fish, plants and snails to keep me interested. It's quite the sight to see!

But quiet and peace remain elusive. I have an old friend, a coworker from years ago, who works from home and has for about 5 years. I used to think he was in the enviable position. That is until COVID-19, hit. I can leave the house for lunch, go for a walk, run to Walmart (though the line around the building pretty much ruins that trip for a quick run) or simply grab something out the fridge…and yet, this is not what I signed up for…

Any given day, there are any number of things I can be working on. At nearly any given time, I can get out the bed, come to the basement, work on software development, my semi-job (more on that some other time), lift some weights, read a book, listen to music…you get the picture - I've got options. But there always remains some 'thing' just outside the perimeter of sanity and peace…

I thought I had it figured out years ago. Thought a "personal relationship with Jesus Christ" would do it. Thought marriage would give me the sense of satisfaction I longed for. Thought painting, writing, running, lifting heavy weights…you get the picture.

Sometimes, you just need to rest your head where it is. Take a few minutes to observe the clouds, feel the ground beneath your feet and the beating of your heart. It's in doing so, you find the 'elusive' isn't that far removed from where you are.

I'll Put this in Writing, But...

I'll Put it in Writing, But...

I have in mind ways to improve my website. By means of a website, I improve the impression(I think I make) in the world — how I perceive “me” in the sphere of the electronic mirror. I have three sites, and each is an aspect of me, "Eddie Hudson" or "Eddie L Hudson" or my “words.” I began this journey into the electronic “soapbox speaking” so many years ago. I have repeated this process many times over, each time stopping and starting, trying to keep a steady pace. No, haven’t mastered that aspect of my identity yet.

The current plan is to simplify, at the least, this one outlet. My last plan was to make this site: “His Words and Images” and present both images and words. In theory and practice, it is possible; it’s very doable. But at the moment, trying to restart this venture is a huge undertaking. Besides there are three loads of laundry, a sick father and a “stay at home” order in place. There’s a lot going on.

“Simplify” seems plausible and if I’m successful, this entry will appear soon. If not...