It’s presently Sunday evening, 9:07 pm. Those last few minutes of mental wind down and preparation for tomorrow - another Monday and another busy work week. Sitting here writing, I recall so many years ago, that at this time, I would be preparing to leave church, drive a few miles away to get gas for my car for the week, but with the same sense of dread and anticipation. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have wanted to “chunk it all,” get in my car and go until the money or my sanity ran out! But I’ve essentially “done nothing.”
I have “wip” projects sitting behind me; I have three pastel drawings in process five paintings pleading for attention. Weekends are usually when I make the time, or an evening here or there. Some days - most - my day begins long before sunrise, even in the summer. And it doesn’t end until it’s dark. Most of the time, I have enough energy to prepare for the next day. And yet, it feels like I haven’t done a thing.
That bothers me; it troubles me more than I can convey in a simple blog. But I am a man of faith; I have seen my “efforts” and my seeming lack there of, yield strange results. So I do what I can, when I can and often far more than I believe I can - with what I have. I am, after all, a man of “faith;” I trust that God begin, or put in me a “work” that remains incomplete. And while I feel like a horse “chomping at the bit” (city slickers: that means the horse is ready to run) I know in my heart, some things are beyond my ability to change…so I do…nothing.
Tomorrow, I will hit the ground running. For all practical purposes, I may as well, move from Monday morning until Sunday night. And yeah, I’m moving, I’m working, I’m taking care of someone else’s wants and needs, but oh so often, it seems like I’m “doing nothing.”